Uwe Boll Has Lost His Ever-Lovin’ Mind
We’ve had a lot of fun, o my readership, laughing at the sheer blinding hubris of Herr Doktor Uwe Boll. Despite crashing box office losses, and the loss of his entire support network, he still believes he has a functioning career.
In fact, he not only believes he has a functioning career, but he now believes himself to be a genius easily the match for Steven Spielberg. And to test his belief, he’s planning to embark on the single most idiotic mismatch on the face of the earth.
No, not him versus reality, but rather, him versus Indy Jones.
That’s right—Herr Doktor Wahnsinnig is actually planning to release his spectacle Postal on the same day as the release of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Like some kind of horrible nightmare of Gonzaga versus six kindergarteners (it really IS a perfect March Madness reference, isn’t it?), this wackjob with a thing that can almost be laughingly called a movie is going to take on the revival of one of the oldest and greatest franchises known to man.
It speaks for itself, and I’m going to have to let it because I can barely stop laughing long enough to type this post. Although I have to admit, it’s a move guaranteed to give him exposure and face time everywhere. Blogs will not stop talking about this stupid, stupid move if for no other reason than to laugh uproariously at it, and by making himself a spectacle, Boll may well have given himself some free publicity.
Before I close, and send you off to the House of the Dead trivia on Kwanzoo to keep up with Herr Doktor’s earlier work, let me close with a couple great quotes that show you what kind of lunatic moron we’re dealing with:
“On the Indiana Jones weekend - May 23 - we will go out and destroy Indiana Jones in the Box Office! We all know that Harrison Ford is older as my grandpa and his time is up - would Michael Moore say!”
“Spielberg gets sloppy. We saw that with War of the Worlds…and also in parts of Jaws, E.T., Munich etc.! My performance in Postal as ‘Nazi Theme Park Owner’ outperforms easily Ben Kingsley in Schindler’s List!”
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