Wow, how long has it been since a month started on a Monday? (Don’t look that up, I don’t really want to know.) This upcoming week has some cool stuff on T.V., so here’s a few of the highlights:

On Monday, tune to Lifetime (I know, I know!) at 9:00 PM EST for The Matador. Starring Pierce Brosnan and Greg Kinnear, this is the sort of film you will definitely enjoy the first time around, but probably won’t ever want to own. So this is perfect. The story revolves around a mild-mannered businessman who becomes entangled with a foul-mouthed, washed-up assassin. (Guess who plays who.)

If that’s not quite your style, AMC is showing the Clint Eastwood classic Dirty Harry at 8:00.

On Tuesday, hit the CW at 8:00 PM to see the premiere of the new series, 90210. Created by Veronica Mars’ Rob Thomas, this will either be amazing or an utter trainwreck. Let’s find out together, shall we?

If you feel like being terminally bored, of course, your local PBS affiliate is likely showing the Republican National Convention. So, you know, enjoy that.

Come Wednesday, forensics fans should hit Fox at 8:00 PM for the season premiere of Bones, which is imaginatively titled “Yanks in the U.K.” Episode description: “Brennan and Booth travel to London to guest lecture at Oxford University and Scotland Yard, and are asked by local officials to help investigate the murder of a young British heiress; Angela’s long-estranged husband returns.” Sounds exciting! Me, I only enjoy David Boreanaz when he plays Angelus.

Never saw When Harry Met Sally? Me neither. But now you have the chance, because Oxygen is airing it about fifteen times on Wednesday. Enjoy!

On Thursday, there is absolutely nothing worth watching. Sorry. I guess you can tune in to FX at 8:00 if you’re one of those people who didn’t know that The Dark Knight was a sequel to something, because they’re showing Batman Begins. But that’s about it.

I’ll let you figure out the weekend on your own.

Remember, when there’s absolutely nothing else on, failsafe options include:

TBS, if you’re in the mood for five episodes of Family Guy in a row.

Discovery, unless they’re showing something stupid about UFOs or ghosts.

The History Channel, pretty much no matter what.

Animal Planet, especially if “It’s Me or the Dog” is on.

And if you have DirecTV and a high tolerance for the absurd, tune into Chiller and enjoy back-to-back episodes of Tales from the Darkside until your brain starts leaking out of your ears. (In all seriousness, though, they’ll started airing Twin Peaks every day at 1pm and 6pm [or 5pm on Monday only]. If you’ve been meaning to catch the series someday, as I have, definitely set your DVR.)

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