There’s one particular substrata of the great horror universe that has given me more “huh??” moments than any other. One sub-genre that has left me baffled, left me scratching my head like mutant chiggers had taken up permanent residence in my scalp. It’s not sci-fi horror or survival horror or even indie horror–it’s horror from a particular place. That place is Japan.

These Guys Are Completely Nuts Vol. One.

Look…it may sound like I’m overgeneralizing, but seriously–I have seen plenty of Japanese horror flicks, and I have simply not found one single class of films more likely to confuse the hell out of me. For instance, try the Japanese classic Suicide Club. That one will feature a body count of fifty within the first three minutes. You’ve never seen something so baffling as a bunch of smiling schoolgirls decide, seemingly on the spur of the moment, to join hands and simultaneously jump in front of a high-speed train.

Yeah, that’s what I said. And that’s not even the weirdest movie I can describe. The weirdest one involves sex toys and suicide.

These Guys Are Completely Nuts Vol. Two.

Continuing the sheer bananas filmmaking from Japan is Onechanbara, a game-to-movie translation about a couple of ladies armed with huge swords out to save the world from zombies. One of whom will be dressed vaguely like a cowgirl wearing a bikini. The other will be in a schoolgirl outfit.

If I were fighting zombies I’d want a whole lot of chain mail, maybe some armor. The ladies definitely got a whole lot more guts than I do to go fighting zombies mostly nude.

Whether the Onechanbara movie will make it to the States is unclear. But until we can find out, one fact remains–Japanese movies are weird. And often entertaining!

What’s always entertaining, on the other hand, are the zombie movie trivia questions on Kwanzoo.

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